crazy-raver's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Self Check-out Hiyah, What does one when do when a person is in need? No, what would I do if a person is in need? I help. Help is arbitrary. What is arbitrary? It means that it is up for ones own interpretation. There is no definite right or wrong. Life is arbitrary. I wouldn�t say I that living in MN allowed me to discover this truth, rather it just made it more apparent. My values, my insights are not compatible with ones here. The words hero, valiant or even courageous is almost lost here. No one is willing to stand, or made the martyr. How often can one romanticize about devotion or self sacrifice? It is not necessarily wrong to help others, if it in turns hurts yourself. When does one stop? When is it good enough? Why is it so wrong to feel such compassion towards others, unconditionally loving? I question this, for most see this in disdain. Being like this makes it so you�re a rug, others will walk all over you. Still, if there�s one thing that I got from Christianity, its kindness. If it happens it happens, I wont allow that to stop me. My persona is some what adulterated. I have been poisoned with stories of grandeur and marvel. Doing what is right and just, eventually labeled as the nice guy. Nice guys finish last, but atleast they finish. I am no saint. I am far from it. A college drop out. Unemployed. Unmotivated. No license. No car. No money. I am a recluse in some sorts. When one tries to find themselves, they often lose themselves. I, presently know who I am. So, even if I say all this. I just say, �what do I know? When compared to my experience with knowledge, it doesn�t quite match up, so what do I know?� Life is arbitrary. Your actions, your lives. You do what you want, we are autonomous. I will be going back to Iowa this weekend. They've talked to me. It would have been okay, if I didn�t lose my wallet. I have my I.D. in there. It takes a month for one to get an I.D. here. It�s for the best, I guess. Just when I thought things were going good. Started to get paid for tutoring, getting calls for job interviews, then I lose my wallet and everything turns around. Today was my first day at a new location. It will also be my last. Lots of new faces and the ratio of girls to guys is 2 to 1. Looks like I�ll have to call the lead super and say that I gots to head back. Damn I hate that. At the very least...I get to see the night sky once more, I get to go outside. I will not let this stop me. I will return. My nieces are coming tomorrow. Going to call it a night, Goodnight ladies and gentlemen, ~Good 11:05 a.m. - 2010-05-01 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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