crazy-raver's Diaryland Diary



Its been a bit.

I thought I'd be doing gig work for the rest of my life. I've moved to a permanent role for a trading firm. They have a ton of benefits for me to travel. Pay for my technical development and provide bonuses for said achievements. Its nice. Its stable...for once right?

Its been so long.

How long has it been for my thoughts to flow like this? Its quite relaxing. Could it be I've been present for the last 2 years?

I feel full. Content. Perhaps I've learned to digest those small bites of emotional ambrosia.

Allowing myself to be present in moments. Expressing my thoughts and feelings to those around me. Letting go of my ego and exposing my vulnerabilities, I've stumbled upon a nice community.

The contentedness I feel has left me no time to think about L.

I often wonder if that will feel the same?

No, good. Its never going to be the same. The same is not tenable. The same will be near impossible. Biologically. My cells have been replaced. I am not the me I once knew or you once knew, reader. I must know this. I have recognized this.

Has it atrophied? romantic muscles

HA. My stupid smirk appears again. No. I find that I am still. Just waiting for a ceaseless pursuit to leave me out of breath.

This has been nice. Thank you all for putting up with my ramblings


8:52 p.m. - 2022-12-16


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