crazy-raver's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Day 2-4 Day 2. Stayed in for the later part of the day. Night came and got some tea. This time no music. I let the coffee shop create the atmosphere. It was calm. A small clamor started building up. This noise was draining. I got angry. I rolled my eyes, only to see how bitter I was becoming. Fudge. I smiled and listen to the chatting crows talk about their lives. We all have gone down that rode, and we still do. There's no problem with people talking about their lives. They just want to be heard. I sat looked around at the decor and slowly sipped my tea, smiling with the lives around me. I finished my tea and exited. I paused and looked to the skies. Should I grab a night cap? I toss a coin and continued to the lounge. I was greeted with the loud wails of a man whose had his share of hardship. He was singing. Yeah. It was karaoke night. Started off with some scotch. I started to unwind. Chatting with the patrons and the hostess. The night ended with talks about Star Trek, video games, and ingesting shots of liquor. Afterhours rituals ensued. A bottle of Gatorade and a burrito. That semi attractive worker was there again. Pretty sure its just the alcohol. I exited swiftly upon obtaining my items. Consumed the wrapped processed bean/meat mass and KO'd. Looking back. While soul searching in my tea ritual, I would slowly let go of this bitterness and I would want more social interaction, which lead me to the night cap phase. Day 3. I woke up with a slight hang over. I thought about the people I met the night before. I would dismiss them. I dont exactly feel guilty. There is a part of me that feels remorse for this but, I shouldn't get caught up in that building up emotional baggage with interactions with random acquaintances. Multiple separated instances of interaction would supersede the dismissal of said acquaintance. I consumed the electrolyte infused beverage purchased earlier that morning, and I started to watch Adventure Time. I entered Recovery Mode. Day 4. I would go out. It's Friday, hell, why not? Went to a club/bar highly influenced in the new rising Electric Dance Music scene. It would appear that this night was dedicated to a person who passed very recently. She was young 22-23ish. She made an awful choice and she paid with her life. This was a young crowd. Most patrons at this bar were in their late teens to their late twenties. Most living or having a Y.O.L.O mentality. I did not shed crocodile tears, but my sympathy went out to her friends and family. I ingested one gin and tonic and 100 mg of "molly". I danced away my woes and it rebounded. Like all users, I experienced a heighten sense of empathy. I drew in the atmosphere and emulated my surrounding emotions. When the music started to die down so did my energy. I was done. I sat in the lounge for the rest of night, chatting away with other patrons. Most asked how I was. I smiled and nodded, throwing up hand gestures ranging from the simple thumbs up or the more radical rock n' roll devil horns. Once again acquaintances, this time with under the influence of a substance. Who would I be if I didn't treat them like I treated others before when not under the influence. The substance would heighten my sense of empathy and erode my ego, making everyone I met feel like an old friend. I knew this was an illusion. Is this what others go through? This moral debate? Or is this just me? Ha! This time like other times a part of my ego was intact. The rule still applied. I left. Checked my facebook on a whim and my friend linked this to me. Perfect. I think I see a weakness. Goodnight ladies and gentlemen. ~good 2:35 p.m. - 2013-03-23 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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