crazy-raver's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- (sniff) (sniff) thats a good rose Hiyah, GOB's-So I applied for a supermarket called RAINBOWs, K-Mart, and Target...its been about 3 days and I have yet to hear a call. WTF, Seriously I've spent hours on craiglist and Monster and lets not forget career builder, and i've applied for numerous positions. ITS KILLING ME. I can't catch a break. Spiritual- It has been pretty stressful the last couple weeks, shoot the last couple months. I've had a couple dreams about me going back to Christianity, but its only when I am backed in to a corner, and I pray for my salvation, I call upon the power of God to deliver me when I am confronted with darkness. I dont wake up from my dream, I dont get saved. I dont get less afraid. I didnt see a light. I just stood, taking and confronting what was peering from the depths of the abyss. A few times I would feel this fear envelop me when I'm half-a-wake, damn. Experiencing this I want to get centered, focused, tuned spiritually. Should I go back to church? I mean it couldn't hurt right? A nice place to meet good girls too? Wow what a nice thought...To bad those girls will most likely been 14-17 buhahaha, why do I set my self up for that stuff. I dont think I could do it. I just cant believe in it. I mean it could have happened, but I dont believe it happened how they explained it, and I believe they have a lot of the information wrong. I spent a lot of time in church, sometimes I just stop for a moment and just let that feeling sink in. It truly is powerful stuff, but I've sat in prayer sessions with Muslims and Buddhists alike, and I can feel the presence of something greater. I think or should I say believe those who first started those religions just interpreted what they felt differently but in the end of the day, the feeling of "awe"(thats what I like to call it) is what its all about. Its refreshing and gives people that quintessential feeling of hope. It fuels their drives for a better tomorrow. Meh, I guess people have their own Vehicles and they get to their destination pretty quick, I guess I'll just walk like I normally do, hahahahaha. Well, everyone is taking their roads to where ever it may lead them. FF13 is ok. I'm in Chapter 11, I just rushed through it, I get killed alot. I need to farm or something. That flowchart of a leveling system can fit perfectly with our lives right now. It's nice to see you 2 are live? Yah know I guess I can understand why Alex isn't too explicit on his detail with Jessica, with his co-workers reading his Diary an all. To be honest I have no idea how your relationship is going, I've noticed that you're more careful the use of the word "love", from what I kinda understand, thats good. Thanks Chuck, I guess I just have to struggle a little more, but I'm sure that its better than splashing about. Dot worry some day we'll evolve in to something worth it. I will continue later. Until next time, ~Good "The most beautiful thing we can experience is the mysterious. It is the source of all true art and all science. He to whom this emotion is a stranger, who can no longer pause to wonder and stand rapt in awe, is as good as dead: his eyes are closed.� -Albert Einstein 1:28 p.m. - 2010-03-25 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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